A colleague at work recently recommended Al Ritter's 2010 book The 100/0 Principle. Its subtitle is "The Secret of Great Relationships", and it's a thin book that's even thinner, given large print, small pages, generously spaced layout, and repetitive anecdotes. That doesn't mean, however, that the key theme isn't brilliant:
| Take 100% responsibility for a relationship, and expect nothing in return. |
As the author admits, this sounds paradoxical but "When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well." And even if they don't, since you expect nothing you haven't lost anything. And even if they don't, you've learned something. And even if they don't, something good will happen anyway.
In other words: love, don't judge. The concept is great, and applies to work, friends, family, and everywhere else in life. It meshes with the author's rather explicit Christian beliefs, and of course with Buddhist metta ("lovingkindness") and other religious-philosophical doctrines. But alas, The 100/0 Principle is so cheerily redundant that in spite of being a fast and friendly read it's quite frustrating. (And yes, I take 100% responsibility for feeling frustrated — I'll work on being less judgmental!)